


Brotherhood gone bonkers 6

by Aqua111



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comic)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 02:29:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15921030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aqua111/pseuds/Aqua111
Summary: A body swapping ancient device, return of the pigeons and Slender gets a bath.





	Brotherhood gone bonkers 6

"Shall I really tell them or not?" Locke mumbled when he walked through the corridors. New discoveries normally were shared with the rest of the Brotherhood but in this case he wasn't sure if it was a good idea - at least for now as long as he hadn't figured out completely how it worked and had thought about a good excuse where he got it from. Not that it was from a forbidden place but he still didn't want to experience their reactions if they found out he put himself in danger just for a little bit of exploring Echidna history. But what if he told them an outright lie and then they somehow were able to find out where it actually came from? Wasn't it better to stick with the truth anyways?

In the kitchen Thunderhawk tried to make the coffee machine work but to no avail.

"Nope", he told Athair who was standing beside him with a coffee cup in his hands, "still nothing. It looks like Locke put a child safety device on it so that our big baby Spectre won't ever be tempted to take another Cappuccino but unfortunately he forgot to tell the adults how to unlock it."

Athair pouted. "Meh, and where should I put the capsule for the hot chocolate now?"

"Try it with the old fashioned way", Thunderhawk suggested. "You know, warm up some milk on the stove and..."

He was interrupted when the door opened and revealed Locke standing in the doorframe, an uncertain expression on his face. For a few seconds he looked at them then said "No" and closed the door again.

Athair and Thunderhawk exchanged gazes.

"What on Mobius was that supposed to be?" the lavender male asked.

"At least he's back in Haven for a change", Athair happily said.

"Well, I'm not sure if that's actually a good sign after he's been away so often without telling us where he went. Let's better check if there isn't something cooking more than your imaginary milk."

When they finally found Locke he was back in his laboratory examining a golden shimmering plate. Coming closer they could make out small signs carved into it. The younger Guardian was so concentrated that he didn't notice the others until they were looking right over his shoulders.

"Ohhh, shiny..." Athair said and reached out a hand but Locke shoved it away.

"Don't even think about touching it until I was able to completely translate how it works."

"But you also hold it so why can't I?"

"Because I am normally not known to cause havoc with whatever I touch."

"That's debateable", Thunderhawk said. "But what in Aurora's name is that and where do you have it from? Guessing from your words it's some kind of device. Exotic devices are never good in your hands."

"According to the inscription an ancient Echidna tribe used it for certain kinds of rituals but I haven't gotten any further with my translations yet. So would you mind if I concentrate on my work again?"

"I wanna have the shiny too", Athair whined but no one listened to him.

"I see you completely ignored the second part of my question", Thunderhawk said. "Where is that thing from? The design of the symbols reminds me a lot of the remains of the ancient Echidna tribe we found buried under the snow of the Ice Cap Zone."

He sounded calm but the expression on his face had turned into a frown. Locke hesitated but then decided it was useless to try and cover the obvious.

"That's because it actually is from the Ice Cap Zone. When we left that area we also left so many possibilities to find out more about old cultures behind. I couldn't resist getting back there as long as the snowfall wasn't too bad and look for more but unfortunately I couldn't find much before the weather turned to the worst again and I was unable to return."

"Unfortunately? I'm glad that you didn't get further. Wasn't a frozen virus that could have killed us all bad enough?" Thunderhawk wasn't actually shouting but he spoke way louder after all. "I don't care if you take that thing back where it came from or if I have to force it out of your hands and do it myself but get it out of Haven."

"SHINY!" Athair howled and wanted to grab it again.

Locke made a leap to the side and stumbled into one of the shelves. Some of the stuff it held fell to the ground.

"What's with all the ruckus in your lab? I really hope it's not another one of your inventions gone horribly wrong."

Locke closed his eyes. Not Spectre - everyone, but not Spectre. But the expected tirade when the dark Echidna saw the plate and raised his eyebrows in recognition failed to appear.

"That's the reason", Thunderhawk growled and pointed at the golden plate that Locke still held like a baby.

"Well, yes, it was stupid and dangerous to get back to the Ice Cap Zone all alone but he's back, I hope he's still intelligent enough not to go there anymore now that the storms have started again and there also doesn't seem to be anything wrong with the plate for now."

"It's a freaking device that was used for rituals. Aurora knows what the ancient Echidnas have done with that thing."

"Then be quiet and let me finally find out what it was good for", Locke now finally had the courage to speak again.

"Not as long as you stay in Haven with it", Thunderhawk grumbled. "The best I expect from the thing is that it will blow up the building."

"Can't I...?" Athair started.

"NO!" Locke shouted.

"Will you all shut the hell up?!"

Spectre rubbed the bridge of his nose. Only a few minutes with his relatives and he already had a headache. Just great...

In the meantime Sabre and Sojourner had noticed what was going on in the lab as well.

"Is there ... something wrong?" Sabre asked cautiously when he walked into the room and stopped beside Locke.

Sojourner leaned against one of the shelves with a suppressed grin over seeing someone else being Thunderhawk's complaining target for a change.

"Let me guess, my father is behaving like a priss again", he said.

Thunderhawk opened his mouth but Spectre's glare silenced him.

"It's because of this", Locke said and showed the gold plate to Sabre. The older Echidna took it and examined it.

"The Ice Caps again? Locke, with all respect for your exploration drive but this was dangerous. You shouldn't have gone back all on your own."

The youngest Guardian stared at the ground and let out a deep nasally sigh. How much he hated it when his father spoke to him in his "you have been a silly little boy"-tone. Besides he had heard how stupid his actions had been often enough for one day.

"If Sabre can hold it then I can too and now it's mine", Athair said and quickly grabbed the plate.

"Oh no, it's not", Thunderhawk said and pulled it out of his hands. "If Locke can cause a building to blow up with it then you will definitely destroy the planet."

"No, don't..." Locke called but he couldn't stop the chain anymore and the next one had already touched it without even noticing his exclamation.

"Are you sure you are the right one to hold it then?" Sojourner asked and took over the plate. "Having heard your sweet little voice echoing through all the corridors of Haven I would rather be afraid you'd smash it and set free the dark demons caught in this for centuries than when Athair plays frisbee with it and causes nothing worse than a few bruises whenever he hits someone with it."

"Can we please stop playing 'who got the plate' with an artefact as long as Locke hasn't found out if it's harmless for all of us to touch or not?" Spectre growled, grabbed the plate and pushed it back into Locke's arms.

The youngest male stared at it as if it could explode any second.

"That ... was a mistake ... I think", he meekly said.

Before anyone could ask what was wrong a blinding golden light spread from the artefact followed by a strong wind that hurled things off their shelves and slammed the Guardians against the walls.

"Dammit, I knew something was about to happen", Sojourner's voice was heard when the brightness of the room returned to normal. "At least the place is still standing and we aren't dead either." He stood up and looked around. "But therefore the place looks like hit by a bomb."

The others now rose as well but then stopped and stared at each other as if they were seeing each other for the first time in their lives, quickly looked down at their own bodies then returned their gazes to the others.

"What the... What in Aurora's name has happened?" Locke stuttered.

"I wanted to warn you", Sabre said despondently. "I knew the ritual was started by reaching the plate around in a circle and that circle was closed when Spectre gave it back to me."

"Why in Aurora's name do you have to walk around with so less clothes?" Sojourner shouted and tried to hide his chest with his vest. "I feel like a freaking nudist."

"You still have fur if you haven't noticed yet", Thunderhawk huffed. "At least you don't have to embarrass yourself with that dress." He pulled on his bangs. "And no wonder you behave like a blind hen at times with these things permanently in your eyes."

"Rip my hair one more time and I rip your head off", Sojourner growled.

"Too heavy", Spectre groaned and hung his head as if his helmet had suddenly gained weight.

Athair said nothing but had firmly closed his eyes, bared his teeth and a vein was pulsing at his temple. He looked as if he was about to lose it.

"Everyone, please calm down", Locke loudly said and when it became a bit more quiet around him he continued, "I'm afraid I know what's going on. All of you just say your names now so I know if I'm right."

"Locke", Sabre said.

"Sabre", Locke said.

"Thunderhawk", Sojourner said.

"Sojourner", Thunderhawk said.

"Spectre", Athair brought out between clenched teeth.

"This is fun", Spectre without a helmet said.

"So it is as I feared", Locke sighed. "This artefact caused us all to swap bodies or minds or whatever. Locke, do you know how to reverse it?"

"No", Sabre replied. "All I found out so far is that a ritual was made once a year so the people of the village could understand each other better and the last I could see before Athair grabbed the plate was the sign for the closed circle. I will try to find out more but that will take a good while."

"You want to tell me I'm stuck in this damn body for hours if not for days?" Athair growled.

Spectre patted his back. "Aw, don't be upset. You want a cookie? A cappuccino? Thunderhawk's pants?"

"I just want to inform you that I never wear pants though I wish I did right now", Sojourner said trying to drag his zipped vest as far down as possible.

"No, you are wearing a dress instead", Thunderhawk mocked. "And stop wearing out my vest. Go ahead and put on a bathrobe if you can't handle being in a godlike body like mine."

"Cut it you two!" Athair shouted and spun his head around to shot them a glare. Unfortunately the beads on his spines followed the quick movement and hit his muzzle which made him even more furious.

"Don't be mad at me, be mad at him", Sojourner said and pointed at Locke first then remembered where his mind switched to and pointed at Sabre. "He was the one who brought that crap of an artefact."

"The only thing he's guilty of is being stupid enough to walk around in the Ice Cap Zone all alone but I can't remember he told everyone to touch it before he knew what it was", Athair growled.

Locke stepped between them.

"No fights, at least not in the lab if you want Locke to get done with the translations fast. Let's just continue with our usual work instead and hope we don't have to get in contact with the outside world too often."

When they all had left the room Sabre returned his attention to the artefact.

"Father, your eyesight is more than poor", he mumbled while trying to decipher the small signs.

Spectre ran through the corridors, cloak flying behind him.

"Woohoohoo, I'm a ghost", he called out but then stepped on the edge of his cloak and fell to the ground. It was the fifth time within just five minutes.

"Darn, no wonder Spectre is always so upset", he mumbled while getting up again. "In these clothes it's really hard to have some fun."

He tried to pull the cloak over his head - it needed him several minutes of fighting with his clothes but then he finally got rid of them.

"Now that's better - nothing to block my movements or to drip over anymore, no heavy helmet and no creepy cloud of smoke."

He continued running, leaving the cloak on the floor behind.

"You know what's even more frightening than Athair glaring at you as if he wants to kill you?" Sojourner asked while he and Locke walked through the corridors. He now wore one of Thunderhawk's tunics with the green vest over it.

"Knowing that the real Athair is inside a body with Spectre's strength now?" Locke guessed.

"Exactly. Athair might hardly ever use his own powers but I wonder how long he can handle the strength of a Chaos power plant. Sooner or later we will have a Spectre on a very heavy cappuccino trip - without the need of anything with caffeine."

He nearly dripped over a piece of cloth lying of the floor.

"What the..." He picked it up. "Wait, that looks like Spectre's cloak. Has that lunatic decided to empty Spectre's wardrobe? Maybe we should have an eye on him."

Thunderhawk stood in Sojourner's room, turning around in front of the mirror and critically examining himself.

'How can my father walk around like this and still be such a prude?' Sojourner's mind thought.

Well, actually he also never had paid too much attention to it until now when he was stuck inside of it. He definitely was the tallest of the Guardians, still pretty good looking for his age and the bangs hanging in front of his eyes, the style of his beard, his ruffled up fur, heck, even the half opened tunic that he had foolishly called a dress before gave him the look of "I know I'm cool and I don't give a fuck what you say about me" - he couldn't think of any better and more fitting description. Did Thunderhawk even know that with his style he could be the most loved and most feared womanizer in the whole city - loved by the ladies and feared by their partners?

A little smirk wandered over his face. If he had to stay in this body for at least the next few hours, why shouldn't he take advantage of it?

"Get this freaking nudist out of my sight!"

"I'm not naked. There's fur everywhere."

"I don't care. It's my fur you are presenting freely to the world. Do that with your own."

A funny sight was presented to Locke and Sojourner when they entered the surveillance room. Spectre missing his cloak and helmet hung upside down from the ceiling while furious Athair cursed at him from the ground. The beads on his spines that knocked into his face every time he made a quick move didn't make him look less ridiculous.

"How can you even have fun with such heavy clothes blocking all your movements? I'd say that's the reason why you are always such an old grump."

"Get down immediately and I'll show you how much fun the old grump can have!"

Locke put a hand on Athair's arm. "Ath... I mean, Spectre, calm down. It's not going to help anyone if you explode in the surveillance room - especially not the fragile electronics."

Athair shot him a glare as well but before he could say something one of the screens warned them of an incoming call and Remington's face showed up.

"Guardians, I ... holy f..."

The constable dropped the headset he was just about to put on and the Guardians couldn't hear the rest of his curse. For a little while he just stared at Spectre on the ceiling before his mouth started moving again - at first in silence but then he noticed he was trying to speak into a box of juice and with a light blush he picked up the headset.

"I don't know what is going on in Haven and I honestly don't want to be involved in it either. All I wanted to do is telling you that the Legion is behaving a little bit strange again." And with another glance at Spectre he silently mumbled, "Well, at least not that strange."

"So what's happening?" Locke asked.

"People noticed static noises in one of the forests and told about black figures hiding in there. Moreover Dimitri is sneaking through the city as if he's trying to hide something and wants to make sure no one follows him. They haven't done anything yet but I have the feeling they are up to something again."

"But hotdogs are always better", Spectre said.

The four other Echidnas stared at him.

Remington cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry, Guardian, but I don't think I quite understand..."

"Not? I thought I was supposed to say something. But you can't argue that, hotdogs are ALWAYS better."

"Don't listen to him. He just needs to get out and clear his head or something like that. Am I right?" Athair said with a smile that was supposed to look like put on cheerfulness but in fact looked like it could make Enerjak run in terror.

"Am I right?" he repeated now his voice sounding a bit more threatening and turned around. Spectre finally understood the broad hint, dropped off the ceiling and ran out of the room.

"That ... was all ... I guess", Remington stuttered, said his goodbye and shut off the screen.

Locke shut his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I wonder if there will ever be a conversation with the constable in which we don't frighten him yet another time. And gee, the Legion causing trouble is the last we would need right now. I hope Locke will be done with his translations fast."

Remington stared at the black screen for a little longer then turned around to look at something more appealing - the window for example though he could only see grey clouds from his position. What in Aurora's name had he just experienced?

A pigeon flew against the glass, dropped down onto the window sill looking a bit dazed but then flew up and against the window another time. Probably one of Locke's former pigeons. It might have been a year ago since he released them into the wild but sometimes they still tried to deliver imaginary letters to Remington's office.

With a sigh the constable got up, made a half-hearted try to shoo the pigeon away which was responded with another bang against the glass and then left his room. Lunch break was over for quite a while but after he had gotten the warning it might be another one of these days in Haven he felt like he could need something sugary sweet to calm his nerves down - a bottle of liqueur for example. However he quickly decided otherwise when he remembered the last time he had downed too much alcohol while still on duty - it only had led to very strange dreams and hallucinations, one of them including Spectre mooning the Dark Legion - went to a café instead and ordered Irish Coffee. Looking through the windows while sipping on his coffee he noticed something on the streets that made his wandering gaze stop short. He lowered his glass, stared at it then back on the street then back on the glass. No, it couldn't be that he was already seeing things after such a little cup of coffee with whiskey. The Echidna on the other side of the street was definitely Thunderhawk and from his body language Remington could tell he tried to flirt with the flamboyant looking lady beside him. Remington's eye started twitching. Thunderhawk ... flirting ... on an open street ... with a very strange lady - obviously the first one he had seen because this district of Echidnaopolis wasn't known for females to visit too often. Was that Guardian drunk again? Remington had already half risen from his chair but then decided otherwise, slowly sat down again and leaned back, a crooked smile on his face and watched Thunderhawk walk away with the other Echidna. Maybe he should have warned the Guardian - that he somehow knew this "lady", that "she" was a member of a travesty show group currently touring through the district with the most gay bars - but revenge was sweet and best served as cold as the fridge he once had to drag through a whole shopping centre.

The lavender furred Echidna walked through the smoke filled bar following the lady whose dress up made him think of burlesque theatres. Thunderhawk's body combined with Sojourner's flirting talent - it had worked just too perfect. If that old prude only listened to his son and let him teach a few of his tricks he would have been a ladykiller in no time but no, he just preferred to live a lonely, boring life instead.

It was still in the late afternoon, the bar had just opened and there weren't many guests yet but the complete absence of females that the Guardian noticed now was still strange.

"Aren't many of your kind in here", he mumbled.

"Oh don't worry", his lady said with her husky voice and smiled. "It's still very early, too early for the show. My girls will be here in a few hours so we have enough time for the bit of 'private talk' I promised you."

"Wait, are we even allowed there?" Thunderhawk asked and stopped when she was about to walk to the private rooms upstairs.

"Normally not but since I'm part of the show tonight I got my own dressing room here and as long as you are with me you are allowed as well, my little one."

The Guardian felt a bit uneasy by now and the other guests were eyeing him definitely way too much but he blamed his nervousness on the feeling of guilt he probably had knowing he misused Thunderhawk's body. Taking a deep breath he followed her up the dimly lit stairs.

Spectre marched through the streets of Echidnaopolis a pouty expression on his face. He had snitched a few spray cans, some candy, a car tire that he had immediately thrown away again since he didn't know what to do with it, a coffee cup and also wanted to carry away a washing machine until he noticed that thing was way too heavy for him but the shop keepers only pursued him until they recognized Spectre in him and then quickly let him go his way. With that the funny hunts stopped before they even started. Also spraying pictures on cars wasn't the same as spraying naked females on the jets in Haven and the people staring at him and whispering (mainly about why on Mobius Spectre walked through the streets naked) was only fun at the beginning.

He ran through a flock of pigeons to scare them - at least fluttering fat birds were still entertaining - but unfortunately one of them remained on the ground and he dripped over it.

"Wait, you aren't scared?" Spectre asked sitting up again. "Then you must be one of Locke's tamed pigeons. Come here little birdy." He reached out a hand.

The pigeon ruffled up its feathers in indignation and fluttered away. It might have been trained to not be frightened by crazy Guardians but that didn't mean anyone could pet it, especially after he just dripped over it.

"Hey, wait, I am your friend", Spectre shouted and followed the bird.

People were staring at him again, especially after he trampled over parked - and sometimes also driving - cars, climbed up trash cans or jumped from balcony to balcony, all because of one pigeon that always landed somewhere not too far away, sat there for a few seconds until the Guardian was too close for comfort and then fluttered away again.

"Oh curse that damn birdy", Spectre muttered when he was hanging upside down the edge of a roof and watched the pigeon land on the window sill of the neighbour building. He pointed towards the bird but what was ought to be a little zap to scare the pigeon unfortunately turned into a mighty Chaos blast.

"Have you found out something new?" Locke asked walking into the lab.

"Just a bit", Sabre replied. "It's hard to read tiny signs when you are not used to wearing a monocle."

As if it wanted to proof it the monocle dropped from his eye and landed in his lap.

"But from what I found out so far it will either wear off by itself after a few days", he continued trying to fix his monocle, "or by touching it all together the same time saying a special code I haven't figured out yet."

"Well, you can take your time because we haven't seen Sojourner for hours – the actual Sojourner who is stuck in Thunderhawk's body I mean - and since Spectre threw him out of the surveillance room Athair has also disappeared without a trace."

Sabre groaned. "Oh no... We should have put him into a padded cell as soon as we had found out who was inside Spectre's body."

That moment Sojourner came sliding around the corner and nearly crashed into one of the shelves.

"Guys, I have a call from Remington", he gasped. "Looks like we have a little Athair-problem now."

The figure of Athair was standing in front of the big screen when the other three Guardians rushed into the room - unfortunately only Athair's body with Spectre's mind in it while the actual Athair was still out there causing whatever troubles. They all stared at the picture on the screen.

Remington was standing in front of a big hole in the wall, other people from the EST tried to close it with an improvised wall made of cardboard, sheets of paper were whirling around him in the air draft and a happily curring, a bit singed looking pigeon was sitting on his hat. The constable needed to take a few deep breaths before he was able to speak.

"Guardians, I still don't know what is currently going on in Haven but I highly suggest you to get a collar and a very strong leash for Spectre and tie him somewhere he will never be able to get away from again - before I do it."

"I haven't even been outside Haven", Athair protested.

"I know. No one claimed that you have been the reason for this, Guardian Athair. We all clearly saw it was Spectre even though he was running around naked", Remington said slowly as if he needed to explain a very stubborn toddler why 1 + 1 wasn't 11.

"What did that lunatic do with my body?" Athair growled.

Remington raised his eyebrows a bit surprised of Athair's strange choice of words and the anger that was so completely unusual for him but still he continued, "As you can see he blasted away the walls of the EST headquarter. I still might have understood it if it happened in a fit of rage but instead I saw him tangling off another roof top, looking at me with apologetic puppy eyes, saying nothing more than 'Ooops' then it slowly seemed to dawn on him what he just had done, he panicked and fled while blowing up even more things that were in his way. I would be happy if you didn't only stop him but someone could also explain what's wrong with him this time."

"I'm going to kill this maniac! I'm going to kill him!" Athair roared.

"This is all your fault", Sojourner shouted pointing at Sabre. "If you hadn't gone searching for some ruins and brought back that stupid thing..."

"My fault? Who was so eager to touch that damn thing?" Sabre shot back.

"Well, at least not me. Blame Athair on that."

"Oh yes, Athair fetched it first and then you decided to happily pass it around in circles."

"Can we please all calm down?" Locke pleaded but was ignored.

"Oh yes, you, Athair and Sojourner. And where on Mobius IS that damn Sojourner? Why can't you have an eye on your son for even one second?" Athair shouted.

"Maybe because Sojourner is several decades old and I can't play the nanny for him 24/7?" Sojourner retorted.

Remington just silently watched. 'Well, there's your explanation', he thought.

"Everyone shut the fuck up!" Locke suddenly roared and this time it worked. "Thanks... Well, constable, where is our crazy Guardian right now."

"The last time he was seen was after his panic attack was over close to the edge of the city talking about his plan to go looking for a mythical creature called Slenderechidna but we lost his trace after that."

"Fine, then let's meet in the city and try to find his trace again."

Once upon a midnight dreary - or in short, night had fallen in. A dark looking being wandered through the forest. Red eyes aglow in the shadows. Strangely they looked like someone wanted to give them a puppy-eyed look. A call was heard.

"Sleeeendyyyyyy!"

Spectre picked another sheet of paper from a tree.

"Looks like someone is polluting the woods with his trash left behind." He looked at the two sheets he had found so far, one of them saying, "Don't look or it takes you", the other just showing a drawing of someone in a suit and without a face surrounded by trees. "No, wait a second; paper is made of wood so it actually doesn't matter if it's left in the woods."

With that he threw the sheets on the ground and continued his way. Static noise was heard but he simply ignored it - Dark Legion matters were always best ignored. Soon he found another tree with a note stuck to it.

"Wow, someone wants to tell me something really desperately."

"Leave me alone" it said this time.

"Aw, poor puggle", Spectre said. "Not wanting anyone near him and only talking by writing everything down. He must be really self-conscious."

He turned around and suddenly a faceless white Echidna stood in front of him. Under his open Dark Legion cloak he wore a suit.

"Oh there you are", Spectre happily said and rubbed his ears in hope the static noise would disappear but then just decided to ignore it when it didn't want to go away. "Look, I brought you colourful crayons so you don't always have to draw in black only." He felt his fur only to remember that he didn't wear clothes anymore. "No, wait they must still be with my real body. Ah, don't worry; I'll get them for you later on."

The pale figure simply stared at him - or at least turned his empty white face towards him.

"You are so silent. Are you all alone? Are you afraid of me? Don't be, I'm just a Guardian. They are the good ones. You want a balloon... from the clothes of my real body?"

The figure kept staring.

"Isn't that suit really uncomfortable? No wonder you can't play with other kids - it's not that they don't like you but rather because you in fact can't move. And why are you wearing a cloak? Are you copying the Dark Legion or are you cold?"

Meanwhile Slender stared so hard, if he had a visible face he would have looked pretty strained.

"You look constipated", Spectre stated. "And you smell like rotten flesh. A bath might be good for the beginning."

Now the white Echidna looked a bit bewildered.

"No, not a bath."

Slender had no mouth but somehow he must have managed to speak because the words were there all out of sudden.

"Hey, and suddenly you can talk as well. Wait, where are you going? You come back at once!"

"I think I found another trace", Locke said. "At least I don't know many sprayers who draw ponies on parked cars."

"That could be his writing as well", Sabre said looking at a wall.

"What, you mean 'Locke is a peeper, Thunderhawk is a drunk, Sojourner's just a whiner, Spectre is a punk'? Yeah, that sounds much like him."

"He calls me a drunk?" Sojourner complained. "Oh that little..."

"I don't see why he should be wrong at that statement", Athair said with a snarky grin.

Remington following them could only shake his head. They might be good at finding traces but he would have preferred it if they stopped bickering and behaving out of character from time to time.

"Help meeeeeee!"

A lavender Echidna suddenly raced towards them, crashed into Sojourner and tried to hide behind him.

"Holy crap, they are after me. Hopefully they have lost my trace. Please tell me they have lost me!"

"What in Edmund's name happened to you?" Sojourner asked while staring at the completely messed and ruffled up fur of the Echidna cowering behind him.

"I just escaped hell", Thunderhawk said with shivering voice.

"He just escaped the gay bar I saw him enter a while ago", Remington chuckled.

"The what?"

Sojourner stared at him in complete bewilderment.

"I had been tricked into that bar", Thunderhawk shouted.

"He happily ran after a transvestite like a doggy", Remington stated.

Thunderhawk glared at Remington. "What the ... you little traitor!"

The constable only replied with a grin.

Sojourner grabbed Thunderhawk's collar, dragged him back up and shook him violently.

"What have you done to my body?!"

"N-nothing too serious. I fled as soon as I found out... Stop shaking me! Isn't it punishment enough that I was making out with another male?"

"Ugh, thanks for that... Now someone please erase these pictures from my brain", Sabre said.

"That will never go out again. Can I have a completely new brain?" Locke asked.

"Obviously your little adventure in the Dark Legion base wasn't punishment enough", Athair grumbled. "But I rather want to find that nutter and get my body back before I'm going to kick any ass."

The Guardians continued their way and Remington followed them, feeling more and more confused as if he missed an important part but no one cared to wise him up.

Another time Slender tried to escape from the pond and another time he was jerked back into the water and his back was violently scrubbed.

"It would be easier if you stay put for a change", Spectre complained. "It's hard enough to clean you without soap and any other kinds of proper cleaning products so even if we can't get rid of that smell we at least have to get the dust out of your fur."

For the first time in his existence the pale creature felt completely helpless. That crazy dark Echidna was immune to about everything, he had tangled up his tentacles and knotted them into little bows which he had wrapped all around Slender's body, he had manicured Slender's claws and now he was bathing him.

"Alright, and once we are finished I have a fluffy bathrobe waiting for you. I hope you like fluffy things."

There already had been a lot of people who had tried to get rid him and hunted him down but no one ever thought of a torture like that. Time to get out of here for real.

When the Guardians and Remington entered the forest a dripping wet white Echidna hastily wrapped in a Dark Legion cloak raced past them and threw sheets of paper around.

"What on Mobius was that?" Sabre asked.

"Probably someone who is fleeing from that", Sojourner said and pointed at the dark furred and also dripping Echidna running closer.

"Buddies!" Spectre cried out joyfully and tackled Locke to the ground.

"You can shove that buddies up your ass once I get my hands on you", Athair growled.

"Can we please do that first?" Sabre asked and held out the ancient plate. "I doubt any of you want to damage their own bodies by punishing someone else."

"Oh yes, let's play frisbee", Spectre called.

"No, we just touch it."

Surprised Remington watched all Guardians putting their hands on a disc while Sabre recited something in a foreign language that sounded as if he had committed it to memory just a few minutes ago.

'Has Holmes once really put me through all those training lessons just for this?' he thought. 'I should have taken that job as kindergarten teacher instead. Children's games at least follow a certain logic and a group of little kids is easier to have an eye on than six grown up Guardians...'

Hopefully Knuckles wouldn't be that way once he was older.

"Oh thank goodness, I have my sweet body again", Sojourner called out and wrapped his arms around his body.

"I wouldn't be so glad about that", Thunderhawk growled.

"What? I told you I wasn't going too far."

"You have misused it far enough."

"Just be glad that I at least tried to do something good to it after decades of abstinence you old prude."

"And I'm doing something good to you too by beating some sense into you."

As soon as the swap was over Spectre was out for Athair.

"You ... how dare you to expose me to ridicule like that?" he snarled while slowly walking up to the younger Echidna.

Athair stumbled back step by step trying to hide between the trees.

"At least the people know you as someone who can have fun too and not just as the old grump, right?" he laughed nervously. "Uhm... and you still don't have your clothes. Do you really want to run after me like that?"

"I don't care. It's dark. And at least I have more space for moving freely. Just wait and I show you how much fun I can have!"

With a shriek Athair turned tail and dashed into the forest, Spectre right on his heels.

"I understand that you wanted to explore ancient cultures and I also think it is a great idea that you get out of Haven once in a while but you could at least have told us about it. You should never have gotten to the Ice Cap Zone all alone. Do you even know what danger you put yourself in? What if the plate held something more dangerous? We could have investigated it together."

Had Sabre even breathed in once during his lecture? He was talking without the slightest break. With a sigh Locke sat down and let it wash over him. He really didn't know what was better right now, being hunted down or Sabre's endless rant. Maybe he could take a nap on the forest ground.

Remington sat down as well.

'And here we go again...'

He still didn't know what had been going on - or probably there was nothing special going on at all and this was just the normal chaos.

He picked up some of the paper sheets the fleeing white Echidna had thrown away. One of them read "HELP ME" another one just repeated "NO NO NO NO" all over.

'You are guessing my thoughts, buddy.'

Maybe the Dark Legion still had a nice and calm job to offer.

Lien-Da turned up her nose at Slender dripping all over the chair in front of her desk.

"So you really want to tell me a dark Echidna tried to give you ... a bath?"

Actually he hadn't told anything at all but she still got these pictures in her head.

"Fine, just go." With a sigh she turned to her brother. "Which candidate for our new fearsome being do we have next?"

"A female called Cthu-Lu", Kragok replied. "On that photo she might wear a ridiculously looking tentacle mask but the way she pictures how she destroys ships is impressive."

"There are no ships on this island. We don't even have waters large enough for ships. And about every wannabe-creep seems to have something with tentacles lately. But alright, she can show us what she got though I doubt we will ever find a being like Enerjak again. With relatives like that we could be glad when our fearsome things aren't scared away within a few minutes."

"We can still ask Dimitri to carry the golden armour."

"But that wouldn't be the same. Enerjak was implementing fear while Dimitri is..."

"Confusing?" Kragok suggested.

Lien-Da remembered their great-grandfather's last wonderful idea to learn jazz dancing and he sneaked out to his dance lessons trying to be so obviously stealthy that absolutely everyone in the Legion noticed it.

"Yeah, that's a good way to put it."


End file.
